the reset button.
a self-portrait.
Why I almost quit photography…
To put it simply: I was a victim of self doubt. When people ask me why my Instagram feed disappeared, I jokingly respond with “I had an existential crisis”. But, the fact is, that’s the truth. I think being in a constant state of self-loathing comes with the territory of being an artist - however, it is not healthy to rely on that excuse for long. I needed a break to recharge and reevaluate. Hating your work own work can become exhausting.
I was a victim of self doubt. But, it's time to shift perspectives.
A friend asked me why I liked taking photos. At first, I had no idea how to respond. I hadn’t thought about it in a very long time. I had been too busy trying to make photos that would make other people happy - and in the process, I forgot why I picked up a camera in the first place. After a moment of reflection, I said:
“ I like taking pictures of people. I like showing someone a side of themselves that they didn’t know was there - or that they forgot was there. When I show them the picture... I live for that sparkle in their eye when they see themselves in a way they might not have thought possible.”
I surprised myself by saying that out loud, and realizing how far off track I felt I had become. To feel untalented is one thing - but to realize you have creatively betrayed yourself is truly heartbreaking.
I know this is a daily struggle for so many of my creative friends. So, I just want to remind you to not be so hard on yourself. I think we have to remember to allow ourselves room to grow and explore, without putting ourselves in a tiny little box. I was feeling trapped in a box, so I decided to hit the reset button.
What happens now…
If you’ve stuck around this long on my creative journey, I just want to say THANK YOU. All of the encouragement and unconditional support means the world to me - even when it seems like I had disappeared for a while. Starting with a clean slate, I will be posting some of my favourite photos from the last couple years as well as creating new content - while exploring new styles, mediums, and techniques. 2018 will be a creative year of self-love and self-exploration. I am excited to start this new journey with all of you!!
xLKB